Spam is so useful! I keep being surprised every time I clean my spam box!

See; this MegaDik thing supposedly will add 4 inches to my length down there. Did you buy yours yet? All my 7 girlfriends have been complaining I need another 2 inches. Well, I'll get 4 and they'll be happy!

Of course, I can only have the energy to have sex with so many girls because I always buy ciallis from this other nice guys that keep sending me spam. In fact, I GOT one of these girlfriends thanks to those great "win a free ipod" spams -- since I already had 3, I gave the new ipod to a girl I was interested on, and she immediately took off her clothes!

And it's only fair that I spend so much money on spam. After all, my email seems to win some lottery or another twice a week, I don't even have to work anymore... not to speak of all the money I got helping that nice gentleman that had some trouble in Nigeria!

I'm so happy that we have spam. When we started using the internet, we had no idea it would eventually become such a huge factor in our lives.

Better stop now; my eyes are welling up.