On paying for games, pirating, platforms, etc

Up until last Friday, I was pretty sure I'd be buying Spore shortly after its release. Of course I'd play it first to be safe, but based on what I knew, it couldn't go wrong.

Now, why would I buy any software at all, if I believe software should be Free, and proprietary software is morally wrong? Well, to begin with, there's nothing wrong with buying Free Software; my first Debian was installed from a CD I bought by mail. Second, I (still) make an exception for games, because in my head, the moral/ethic argument for Free Software doesn't hold; games are, as I see it, a new form of art, and for best enjoyment of it you don't require the ability to change, fix, and port it. Now, I still prefer games to be Free Software, because they still have bugs and they still have to be ported — if Spore was Free, I'd buy it despite everything I'm writing in the rest of this article. But no, they don't have to be Free, not in the same way that something critical for me such as my web server or desktop environment needs to be Free so I can fix it.

That said, I never buy Windows games. My OS does need to be Free, and therefore I don't run Windows, and I'm not installing it for a game. I can has a GNU/Linux version plz? Failing that, I do buy Wii games (even though the Wii is Eva's), and since I wasn't following the news too closely, I thought I'd be buying Wii Spore about now. But no; Wii Spore doesn't even have a release date yet. (Oh, and the DS port, which I also planned to buy, is only Creature. No thanks.)

Still, I wanted to try it out. So thanks to someone who does (still) run Windows and did download the cracked version of the game, I played it a few times — a total of about 30 hours now, alone and with Eva, and through all stages. What did I find?

A pack of mini-games

I've seen a number of Wii products that pose (and sell) as a game, but are actually a pack of mini-games. Usually some are fun, some aren't, and none will entertain you for more than a few minutes.

Spore feels like that. Each of the five games — yeah, I'm going to call them what they are, not “stages”, because they're hardly even connected — could have benefited from more development. The whole thing doesn't fit together so much.

For example: you'd think spending a lot of effort in the Creature game to make your species fast, lethal, and possibly flying would give you a big advantage in the Tribe game, right? Well, it doesn't. Having more life helps, but everything else barely makes a difference. Then you go to Civilisation, and wow, now it doesn't make a difference at all; it's straight to trash. You'd think a flying species would have different cities at least? Yeah, only if you design them that way. The fact that walls are entirely pointless isn't even considered by the game.

Cell and Civilisation

I'll get those two out of the way first, because it should be quick.

How can I best put this... well... one word says it all: YAWN.

Swimming around in 2-d eating things? Really? People spend time doing that? And pay for it? I don't think so, sorry.

(BTW, the fact that the iPhone port is only the Cell game, in all its boring glory — and on the iPhone, one of the hottest gaming platforms of the moment — yells FAIL at me.)

Now Civilisation. Yeah I played this already, in a number of incarnations, all better. Please go away now, KTHXBYE.

Tribe

This is, of course, an RTS. But different from Civilisation, a simplified RTS is actually a good thing, maybe. I usually don't have patience for the genre because there's too much complexity, and it usually boils down to knowing the trees backwards and clicking insanely fast. Tribe actually works. It's moderately fun to play, and if you actually did play from Creature to Tribe, it gives you a minor fuzzy to see your species walking around, fighting, dancing, and chatting.

The game is, however, not compelling. You get to it from Creature, you play it, you enjoy it. But I don't imagine myself ever launching Spore to play Tribe. I don't imagine myself ever wanting to play this, or even remembering it exists unless I'm having a Spore conversation. (And possibly even then.)

I do appreciate casual gaming. I play a lot of We Ski, and the reason I do is that each time I do, I can spend 5 minutes or 5 hours, my choice. However, it's essential to the success of a casual game that, if I do choose to spend 5 hours, I won't be bored to death. We Ski accomplishes that by having all the fun little mini-quests, by unlocking new wardrobe, and by having a bunch of different things to do (slalom, moguls — which I haven't mastered yet, air tricks, cruising and appreciating the scenery, or just going really fast). Tribe... I can't imagine playing it for too long. In fact, the one time I played it, I was already bored by the time it was over; it was the only game I didn't stick around in after I had unlocked the next one.

Now, different than all others, I have no idea why Tribe doesn't work. It just doesn't. Maybe it's not that it has a reason to fail, but that it doesn't have any reason to win. Hunting wild animals? Yeah, well, that's what Creature was about, no? Killing or converting rival tribes? Again, nothing new there... in fact, it plays as a simpler, less interesting version of Creature, only with a larger pack; which is really bad since at this point, you just finished a game of Creature.

And speaking of which...

Creature

This one is entertaining enough. Enough to pay for it? Well, maybe not. But close.

It certainly appeals to me personally to wander around the continent exploring; I always liked to do this in many different kinds of games.

Customising your creature again and again is fun.

But fighting or impressing other creatures is only fun for the first few hours. And again, I don't mean in a casual gaming way, as in a few hours each time. No; after a few hours, you probably won't ever enjoy it again. It becomes just a medium to test if your customisations were effective, and “landmarks” for your exploration of the world (if you're an explorer type like me, otherwise you won't care). Oh, and a way to earn DNA and parts.

So essentially, the game is about customising the creature, which requires unlocking parts and earning DNA; and for a segment of people, exploring.

This already smells a little odd, since I just said the methods of acquiring DNA points gets boring fast. So it's really grind grind customise grind grind?

Then you fall into the major failing of the game. Here it is, brace yourself: customisation is mostly fake.

It's a race to get the parts that give score 5 for whatever moves you want. Which ones you'll get, what shape you make them, and where you stick them, is not at all important. Items with no score (ears, noses, antennae, and extra eyes apart from the mandatory one or pair) are pure decoration. Painting is completely cosmetic. Body shape doesn't matter at all. Scores don't add up, so an item with Dance 2 and one with Dance 3 mean you have Dance 3 and a superfluous body part.

Sprinting and speed are useful to catch prey (if you're aggressive) or run away from predators (if you're social). Flying and jumping don't really seem to make a difference. (I still get them anyway because they make exploring slightly faster, by jumping over chasms and whatnot.)

What, you don't believe me? Still think you have to design your creature reasonably, in order for it to survive? Ok then. Witness the Thingy. This lovely (!?!) omnivore has conquered the hearts of almost all species in planet Majig, and evolved sentience. QED.

(Why yes. I did go for the less viable thing I could design. And sorry if you have nightmares with this thing.)

Space

Finally, the most enjoyable game in the pack.

Again, it falls in the already played this trap, if only partially. The terraforming part is fun, but you can't play it much, because it's expensive and you need money... so lots of boring other things to do in order to get money.

Although my civilisation (the Caffeine from planet Capuccino) was aggressive, I started out playing peacefully, as it wasn't readily apparent how I could possibly do otherwise. Only later I found that out, but too late — now the enemies are much stronger than me. I wonder if I'd have enjoyed the game more if I had from the beginning played the Caffeine as the aggressive bastards I know they are deep down, and conquered those whiny neighbours instead of establishing trade routes.

(I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?)

Now this is a game where I see some potential. There's pretty much always more stuff to discover, and contrary to other similar games (like Elite and Vega Strike), you don't get bogged down in the details of actually piloting the ship. (Which, don't get me wrong, are actually fun in Elite and Vega Strike, but a little too difficult, and it does get old.) Maybe one of the reasons I played the Caffeine as traders for so long is that I'm actually enjoying figuring out planets that will pay decently for each colour of spice.

(Perhaps I'll try playing with the Thingies once. I'm sure they'll either scare the aliens to death, or confuse them to inaction. But if I run across one of those species that follow the Books of Order, they'll probably wipe me out at first sight, on principle.)

It does help you enjoy the game once you realise you don't have to respond to all the stupid distress calls. No, the pirates are not going to conquer your planet. That also makes the game slightly less involving, but I suppose it's an acceptable tradeoff.

Do I find any serious fault with the Space game? Well, like many others, there's a bit of a tutorial track, constantly limiting what you can do in the first few minutes, even if you've already played this game dozens of times. (I'm guessing here, as I only played twice, but if the tutorials haven't disappeared on the second time, they wouldn't disappear on the 30th, right?)

And once more, it's a bit disappointing that everything else I did before (I mean seriously, I exterminated every single non-Caffeine species on my continent in Creature, and stomped through everyone else in Civilisation) doesn't have any bearing at all on Space. But I may be repeating myself here.

Finishing thoughts

As someone else said, it's ridiculous that each of those games have a completely different user interface, in particular the camera controls. And there's no control customisation. Please EA, you know better!

Really, I've seen lots of reviews saying it has “innovative gameplay”. Can someone please point out where? I couldn't find it.

And then there's the stupid, ridiculous DRM. If you do decide to buy this game-pack despite all I've said, do yourself a favour: keep the box closed (get only your serial number), and play the cracked version you can find in a number of places online.